Tuesday, January 24, 2006

And somewhere in the midst of it all...

...I got my 30,000th visitor.

Somebody from Westerfield, OH.

Whoever you are--and I think I know, 'cause I'm pretty anal-retentive about looking at my visitor stats--THANK YOU. It helps make up for the lousy numbers I've had so far this year.

And of course, a huge THANK YOU to everybody who visits, especially those of you who keep coming back for more. I hope it's not out of a morbid fascination with watching a human being go stark raving mad for all the blogosphere to see, nor from a never-dying hope that I'll finally post something interesting. Whatever your reasons, it's a humbling experience, and I wish to express my sincerest gratitude to all of you.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Obama Tape

{transcript here}

We're here to discuss the war in Iraq, and how to bring closure to this embarrasing episode in America's history. Conditions continue to get worse and worse, while the insurgency gets stronger and stronger.

We were compelled to speak out in response to the lies of this administration. Polls clearly indicate Americans want the troops brought home. But the president continues to worry about "sending the wrong message" to the insurgents. He thinks by fighting this illegal, immoral war on foreign soil, he can assure the security of our homeland. This is clearly folly.

The war rages on. The number of dead American soldiers continues to rise. And our nation's reputation in the capitals of Europe continues to take a beating.

Pssst--Fred!!! You've got the wrong name on the graphic!!!

Iraq has become a breeding ground and a recruiting tool for terrorists. Our continued presence there will ensure this remains so.

And our presence there has not brought security. The capitals of so many European countries who made the ill advised choice to join us in this illegal, immoral war have been targeted by terrorist attacks.

The lack of such attacks on American soil would seem to be more a matter of blind luck. We know al Qaeda continues to plot against us, untroubled by all our illegal, unconstitutional efforts at stopping them.

Crap, Fred!!! That ain't right, either!!!

It is obvious this administration and this president lied us into this illegal, immoral war. Polls continue to show Americans grow weary of the war and want the troops brought home. It would be a far more prudent course of action to enact a long-term cease fire, to be monitored by the United Nations. If we don't attack them on their soil, they won't attack us on our soil. And then the work of reconstucting Iraq from the ravages of this illegal, immoral war can begin, making sure under the oversight of the United Nations that huge, multinational corporations in which senior officials of this administration have holdings, such as Haliburton, are not enriched in the process.

Dammit, Fred!!! Get it right this time, he's wrapping up!!!

In conclusion, even if, when all is said and done, it appears we have "won", we will truly still have lost -- in the erosion of our civil liberties, in the damage to our international reputation and diplomatic relationships, and in the ruin of our expectations of this administration to conduct itself in a legal and moral fashion. And we will not, in the end, have truly addressed the scourge of terrorism, for it springs from the very kind of conditions created by this illegal, immoral war, as we witnessed in the desperate acts of desperate men on 9/11--when they clearly felt they had no other way to effect positive change in their region of the world other than to strike at the 800 pound gorilla that we have become to them.

We have invaded and occupied their land, and violated their honor and sovereignty, as well as international law and the wishes of the international community.

We should just surrender right now.

Anybody got a white flag? Nancy, weren't you supposed to bring that?

'Bout time, Fred!!!

I keep telling you, my name is not Fred!!!
Can't you even get a simple thing like my name right???
Besides, I don't think Senator Osama... er, Obama Bin... I mean, Ben Osama..."

Fred, give it up.